Compartimento 13

Didn't think the ground  would be so close When I decided  to take the fall I should be used to  the sound Of my bones against the  concrete floor My skin's grow thicker But my soul has not Agnes Hightopp

Is there something wrong Or is it just the weather (How can you promise over something That you know won't last forever?) Is it the lack of sunlight  In my skin that's making me crazy Or is it the way people pick me And then leave like a worn out sweater I used to crave for the cold months But my winters are growing colder As I grow older and bolder And the blanket of my naivety No longer covers my shoulders No presents under the tree No tree at all, why bother? No christmas lights on the entrance For years now no one comes over Is there something wrong Or is it just the weather That's freezing the air between me and all the things I love Or maybe it's just the loudness  Of the heartbeats in my ribcage that scare away all dauntless  who dares to get close enough. Agnes Hightopp

Hi mom, I wanted to say that I'm sorry I stopped writing when I promised you I'd never. It's just that life got heavier. And processing my emotions  to put them into words started to require way more energy than what I can afford to expend. I hope I can get back to it  one day, when "I'll see with no more tears, and love will not break my heart but dismiss my fears". I'll make my way to the light and I'll describe to you how beautiful it is to stand in the sun. I'll make you proud. Agnes Hightopp

I was just thinking about how love and romance are exactly just like surfing. You're there, alone in the water, waiting for something that might not come, and you can't do anything about it but to wait. A lot of people are waiting around you too, but you're all actually on your own. And you just got in the water so you try catch whatever comes first. But you mistaken the shadows of the sun in the water for good waves and nothing happens. And then some waves start to come. You see something from the distance. You start to paddle, you wanna catch it sooo bad. But the wave doesn't push you hard enough so you have to let it go. Another one comes, it looks amazing, but it's actually too big, you realize your mistake half way through. It's too late so you paddle hard and try to stand up but then the wave swallows you up and you are about to drown. You end up on the beach, tired and hurt. But you get back in the water. Then some good waves come. Everything goes right a...

Es complicado. Y duele. Y no debería. Y cuando no duele se apaga. Y duele más. Y tampoco debería. Y si me miras nos deseo y creo ver en tus ojos el mismo fuego que en los míos. Pero cuando no lo haces te imagino y tu chispa ha desaparecido. Y solo quiero que me abraces, y que no sepas cuánto quiero que lo hagas. Y siento que te da igual y entonces solo espero quererme lo suficientemente para no volver corriendo. Y no quedarme otra vez sin respuesta al decirte cuánto, jodidamente cuánto te echo de menos.  Y también la echo de menos a ella (a la de entonces) porque por lo visto mi cabeza y mi corazón se niegan a funcionar por separado y cuando recuerdo un dónde y cuándo, mis latidos recuerdan con detalle cuánto, jodidamente cuánto llegué a quererla, cuánto, jodidamente cuánto de feliz llegué a ser a su lado. Y la Rue de Levis, y el Carrousel, y el Louvre. Y Montmartre, y la torre Eiffel, y Londres y su cuarto. Y la piscina, y Amarok, y las pizzas con nachos, y los musicales, y sus ri...

Me pongo en primera línea y tiro las armas al suelo. Bajo del caballo y me despojo de mi armadura. Me lanzo en línea recta hasta sentir que vuelo. Y solo espero que el de enfrente corra hacia mí para abrazarme y no para matarme. Ya no tengo tanto miedo a mostrarme vulnerable y llevar mi corazón por bandera. Y así al menos, si me hieren fatalmente, recordaré que decidí seguir creyendo en los finales felices hasta que la punta de la lanza atravesó mi pecho. Agnes Hight opp

I'm not loveless anymore Just don't have anyone to hold at night And I'm not hopeless but I do feel like I'm running out of time I'm not the sad person I used to be I even smile for no reason a lot of times Though I still feel lonely at the end of the day So I'm not as happy as I would like Shit, would I ever be? Shit, some of you are? Shit, is there something wrong with me? Shit, how is it like? ( Tonight I just needed some kind words that'd feel like the hug I couldn't have) (But they never arrived). Agnes Hightopp

Within me lays an inch of guilt. For I've always had trouble standing tall.  I spent so much time planting seeds for our garden that maybe I forgot to grow Agnes Hightopp

Perpendicular lines That cross each other's path twice. Never meant to stay together. Never meant to exist apart. Endlessly finding ourselves in the points where we collide. Helplessly running from each other To finally find us right back. Agnes Hightopp

Si esta historia empezase como las demás, hace mucho mucho tiempo, en un lugar muy lejano… no tendría sentido contarla. Si hubieran pasado muchos años a esta princesa ya no le dolería tanto el pecho. Y los versos más tristes que se hayan podido pensar no seguirían intentando abrirse paso a borbotones por sus ojos, en forma de pequeñas gotitas saladas, al no encontrar salida en su pluma, o en su voz. Pero a esta princesa le sigue doliendo el pecho. No tanto como antes pero lo suficiente para no poder dormir sin abrazar algo blandito y suave. Y en los días tristes el sabor de la comisura de sus labios le sigue recordando al mar, a su mar, siempre tan lejano. La princesa vivía en un viejo torreón. No era el mejor del reino, pero era su torreón. Y vivía con un viejo sabio. No era el sabio más amigable de la región, pero era su amigo. Y como dijo otro pequeño príncipe una vez, eso lo hacía úni...

For my next lover; I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I'm gonna do wrong just because I'm too afraid to trust anyone so much again anytime soon. I'm sorry if there's a bit of fear in every kind word, a bit of doubt in every soft touch. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for maybe I'm just using you to warm up my bed alongside my heart cause I'm just done being alone in the cold. I'm sorry because I know that your name is not gonna be the first one that'll come to my mind if you mention the word "home". I'm sorry because I know that your arms wouldn't be the first ones I'll run into if we were in a room with everyone I love. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for loving you without all my heart and soul. Cause I will do love you, never dare to think otherwise. I'll love you so much, and I'll appreciate you in my life so deeply, and I'll mean every nice word and every promise, and I'll adore every touch, and I'll r...