Exhausted of letting go

One of the hardest things in life is accepting that we'll end up inevitably growing apart from some of the things that make us the most happy.

And I'm trying, trying so hard to keep my hope from drowning me into the sightless abys of her desire.
Because I'm tired.
Of caring too much
Of loving too hard
Of giving my heart to get nothing back.
And so is she
Of feeling the void between what she deserves and what life wants to give.

Exhausted, irreversibly exhausted of letting go.
Exhausted, irreversibly exhausted
Of helplessly finding new things I crave to hold on to.
Hating that resilient faith that whispers me at night, when I'm too tired to fight back, too tired to keep pushing it into the cage in which it lies.
The resilient faith that tells me that this time the riding knight will stay.
The same one that when broken hearted says that maybe is the brave lady instead
The one that was meant to be
The one that was made for me
The one that will never leave

Nothing but lies

Empty lies
that slide into my chest
like the most subtle edge
of the most sharpened knife.

And so here
Again
I find myself alone
Writing words to Nemo Nobody
Writing songs to Néant Nobody
Saying goodbye to all that I love
And exhausted
Irreversibly exhausted

Exhausted of letting go

Agnes Hightopp